ok. so i'm sitting here in school. in the law annual room. on a sunday evening. it is a perfect day to study because there are so few people around. i'm alone in the room. the aircon is on. but i am so ridiculously tired and i wish i knew why..

this place is so nice i can pretend its night all the time. i didn't even know it just poured earlier in the afternoon. haha.. i'm rather strange.

i'm very disturbed by the umbrella that might be mine. or not. will someone please come claim it.

i want to get off the conveyor belt..

i'm really glad i've found some really good friends here. i love them. i really. really do. :)

my brain no longer has the will to absorb anything.. its not that i don't want to study. i truly do. i want to do it properly. which means i need more time and to be less tired. but i guess if others can do it then its my own problem. i should stop whining and just get back to it..

i'm happy. i think. for now.

i don't know why the past few days have been such shit days.. the best part is this time.. really absolutely nobody knows what's going on in me.. even if you think you do. you don't. i can promise you. its so ridiculous i don't think anyone would ever guess it either..

its damn stupid. i know.

bah.

irritating.

its ok. much to look forward to. like my birthday celebration! :)) i can't wait. and holidays. and working for money. haha eeks. and preparing for exchange.

i'm suffering from a super serious post assignment lull.. i can't bring myself to do anything.. i just can't wait for saturday to come.. just two more days!

i think i'll have a nervous breakdown when i return.. coz it'll be 5 weeks to exams.. which is ridiculous.. i'm still trying to decide what to bring along..

damn sian but i feel bad complaining to everyone coz at least i have this one week to look forward to. so i don't complain. but its worse keeping it inside. =(

honestly have absolutely no idea how i did what i did last sem.. just proves to show that people need things to drive them in life.. you have to have a goal.. a motivation to do something.. i mean. i have to use the idea of my friends to drag myself to school..

i have run out of drive..

maybe not.

reading the post back. i realise some parts are a little cryptic. like how i was so amused reading my old blog. i can't even remember what i was referring to anymore. most of the time i don't do it on purpose.. its just that i type what's exactly on my mind i don't bother elaborating for myself..

haha reminds me of when bry and i always had communication breakdowns. i'd dive straight into something and start rambling on and he'll have absolutely no idea what i was talking about. good old times really..

what can i say besides. those were the days.

its 4:02am. on friday night.. just about the only night that i'm going to treat like a holiday this mid-sem break..

i don't actually know why i feel so stressed. i think its mostly because i look into my schedule and i don't see any possible me time in the near future. and me time is really what keeps me going.. i guess i just have to push through till i fly off.. then it'll be better..

on the brighter side. this project is really making me happy. it reminds me of why i wanted to do event planning. i still do. the stress and the constant churning of the schedule through my mind. really creates an adrenalin rush.. =)

i feel like its such a waste to tank this semester but i really might.

i'm really really secretly very excited about exchange.. despite the fact that reading the course descriptions today made me feel like i'm gonna have to study PRETTY HARD.. but turning back to that night by the river with ah yong and my pants metal.. (i realised i can't type the name coz pple keep googling his name) talking about travelling together..

i love these guys. i really really do. and at that moment when i opened the page, so resigned and expecting nothing.. seeing what i saw.. i felt it. it was actually going to happen.. what we talked about.. i wasn't left out.. and everything i had gone through the previous semester.. it was all worth it.. that was all i could think about.. the feeling was amazing seriously.

i realise i can't blog unlike an angsty teenager (which i'm not anymore) like my uncle says i do. because if i blog otherwise i'm just describing my day and that's so boring.. guess i'll have to do that when i'm gone though..

haha. yes my template is different.. because i had nothing better to do and decided to try to fuse it with my old template that i loved so dearly..